STU
(into pay phone)
Why did you do that to her? She never
did you any harm.
VOICE
How would you know? Everybody does
harm to somebody. And then they try
their best to forget it.
STU
Maybe me -- but not her. Whatever
I've done, there's no reason to take
it out on her.
VOICE
Suppose that's the only way I can
get to you? You claim you love her.
STU
Yeah, I do.
VOICE
You don't even love yourself.
STU
But Kelly... I would never hurt.
VOICE
Still you have to uphold your status
as an honorary asshole.
STU
Listen, I've treated all my women
decent. I never laid a hand on any
of them, even when provoked. And I
always let them down easy.
(beat)
I'm not ready to let Kelly go. Maybe
I never will be.
VOICE
What if she dumps you first? What's
the odds she's already taken up with
somebody? One day soon you'll come
home and find her gone along with
the CD player and the VCR.
STU
I'm not gonna let you mind-fuck me
all day! That's it. This call is
ended.
VOICE
Not until I say it is.
STU
What happens if I hang up?
VOICE
You don't really want to find out.
STU
I'm dying to hear this!!! What the
fuck can you do about it -- up in
your fucking high window with your
goddam binoculars?
VOICE
I never indicated I had binoculars.
I said I had a highly magnified
telescopic image of you that brought
you up so close I could see where
you nicked yourself under the chin
shaving this morning.
STU
Oh -- while you're at it, have a
look up my ass.
VOICE
I may very well do that, Stu. In the
meantime, think about what kind of
device has a telescopic sight mounted
on it.
STU
What? You mean... like a rifle?
VOICE
A high-powered .30 calibre bolt action
Remington 700 with a carbon one
modification and a state of the art
Henzholdt tactical sniperscope. And
you're in the cross hairs, Stu.
STU
I'm supposed to believe that?
VOICE
There's only one way I can prove it
to you. Hang up the receiver and
find out. At this range, the exit
wound ought to be about the size of
a small tangerine.
STU
And you're just going to kill me for
no reason?
VOICE
For plenty of reasons! Because you
hung up. For years I hated people
hanging up on me. Ex-girlfriends.
Women I didn't even know. Prospective
employers.
STU
I get hung up on all the time. You
get used to it.
VOICE
Or else you don't. I worked for months
getting people to switch to MCI --
being insulted at and being hung up
on hundreds of times a day. The ones
that cursed me out for invading their
privacy never bothered me as much as
those that clicked off without even
bothering to reply.
STU
Then why didn't you go after one of
them?
VOICE
Maybe you are one of them.
STU
Hey, I have worked in a boiler room
myself peddling "Term Life." I would
never be rude to a fellow salesperson.
VOICE
Can you feel it on you now? The heat
of it. I'm moving the strike zone
down to your stomach area. Now I'm
raising it up again. Directly above
the chest cavity -- sliding up to
the forehead just above the left
ear.
STU
Shit -- I do feel it.
agregate