joke - 11

de la calugaru, fara numar:

Daca o pocnesti, se cheama maltratarea sotiei.
Daca te pocneste ea, e autoaparare.
Daca iei o decizie fara s-o intrebi esti nesimtit.
Daca ea ia o decizie fara sa te consulte, e femeie emancipata.
Daca ii ceri sa faca ceva ce nu-i place, e dominare masculina.
Daca te roaga ea, iti face o favoare.
Daca apreciezi formele unei femei si lenjeria sumara esti pervers.
Daca nu, esti homo.
Daca-i oferi flori, urmaresti ceva.
Daca nu urmaresti, esti fraier.
Daca esti mandru de realizarile tale, esti plin de tine.
Daca nu, esti lipsit de ambitie.
Daca o doare capul, e obosita.
Daca te doare pe tine, n-o mai iubesti.
Daca vrei sa faci dragoste prea des, esti obsedat.
Daca nu, ai pe altcineva.

De aceea barbatii mor mai repede, decat femeile....





O tziganca ii venise sa naska..... in intersectzie.....un politzai sa o ajute o incuraja hai k potzi impinge , tziganca avea gemeni .scoate unu capu afara; se uita intra la lok shi ii zice lu celalalt: - Coae hai prin spate k pe aici sunt gabori!

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.
15. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait ... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder... my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit ... Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

Statusurile manelistilor pe Yahoo Messenger (thanks to paki.ro)
- Pe turbosistem (available)
- Num?r bani (busy)
- la Miss Piranda (stepped out)
- Întorc caseta ?i vin (be right back)
- Îmi a?tept dedica?ia pe Taraf (not at my desk)
- Ascult muzic? la telefon (on the phone)
- Du?manii pânde?te (invisible to everyone)
- Blestem ?i plâng (offline)